S B Coaches College - 13 Things I've Learned the Hard Way




		13 Things I've Learned the Hard Way *Robb Rogers, M.Ed, CSCS*

Since my good friends Mike Boyle and Brijesh Patel have started the trend of articles and lectures that expound on lessons they have learned over the years, I thought I would throw in my 13 cents. Obviously, I haven’t learned as much as Mike and Brijesh as I can only claim 13 lessons that life has impressed upon me in my journey. However, when you are a slow learner, need repeated lessons and learn best by rote the journey is a slower but more profound process.

Individual Contractors – It is up to me if it is to be
Anonymous
We are all individual contractors in life. We are the sum total of all our experiences and lessons and this is what we have to offer our industry, employer and client. The more skill, knowledge and savvy we possess the better we can serve our constituents in order for them to meet their goals. WE are accountable and responsible for each of our successes and failures, all of our triumphs and mistakes. There are no victims if we are responsible and accountable. It makes life much sweeter and smoother if we live by the courage of our convictions and not by the whims of others and “life” in general. We choose our actions and reactions, our thoughts and our attitudes and we alone determine our outlook each and every day.

Skills – The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success are concentration, discrimination, organization, innovation and communication.
Michael Faraday
The more skills we possess, the more abilities we have to serve our customers and the greater success and or significance we will have, in time. The more tools we have in our tool box the more problems we can solve in a timely fashion. As our skills increase we are better able to solve problems and serve others with a laser like approach rather than a shotgun strategy that will eventually solve the problem, but may take an inordinate amount of time. These skills must be acquired over time by immersing ourselves in the study, experience and practice of our craft. As legendary coach Al Vermiel has stated time after time, when interested in learning a skill, technique, concept or theory of study, go to the inventor or innovator, not the imitator.

Integrity – If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain
Integrity above all else. Integrity is the key. Without integrity, all is lost. I could not tell you how many times I have experienced opportunities due to the fact that at a very early age I decided that above all else, I would have integrity in my profession. I am not perfect by any means and I can count in the hundreds (if not thousands) the mistakes I have made in my profession. However, very rarely were errors ever made in terms of integrity. Integrity is the trust, the certainty that creates the consistency of action and reaction in our daily interactions with our colleagues and clients. If our morals and ethics are constant and consistent, then our actions and attitudes will reflect that. Integrity is the glue that holds all together.

People Skills – The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.
Theodore Roosevelt
People skills are the key. Knowledge is critical. Hustle is important. Discipline is huge. But, without people skills, success will always be just outside our grasp. People skills can seem complex in application, but are fairly simple. Be kind and courteous while acknowledging the importance of others goals and interests. Listen, actually listen to others and pause before responding in order to actually consider their point of view. Show respect at all times. Be a friend and build relationships and success will inevitably follow. Practice these tenants until they become a part of you, a reflection of your inner being. In the words of Zig Ziglar, “You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Knowledge is power - Today knowledge has power. It controls access to opportunity and advancement.
Peter Drucker
Knowledge is a great tool in order to increase your viability in the marketplace. Very few of us will ever invent anything. Ray Kroc did not invent McDonalds, he sold milk shake machines. However, he recognized the gold mine inherent in the possible franchising of the original McDonalds and bought the owners out. The rest is history. Read, listen, and learn. Always. First focus on the technical aspects of your industry. Then study the science of people skills, communication and personal improvement techniques. Learn business concepts. Be aware of technology improvements that can enhance your ability to deliver. Read, listen, and learn.

Servant Attitude - He who is not a good servant will not be a good master. Plato
It is critical that we serve the client and the employer. We all have bosses. The traditional flow chart has one boss and several employees. This is based on the military chain of command. However, it is outdated. Today, in philosophical terms, each employee still reports to their boss. The boss, in return is responsible and accountable to each and every person that comes into contact with each person that reports to him, including the customer, who in reality is the boss! If the customer refuses the product or is dissatisfied for whatever reason, he can fire the company with no due process in most cases. All we do as customers is never return. Observe truly powerful and successful people. Those with staying power that are comfortable with themselves treat all people with respect and honor, not just those that have something that they want, need or must have. Truly successful people of significance serve others in life as part of their mission.

Set Goals - People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.
Brian Tracy
We all hear how important it is to set goals yet how many of us actually do it? Lou Holtz has been quoted as saying that less than 10% of the people in the world ever set goals and of that 10% less than 5 percent ever actually write them down. Yet of the less than 5% that actually write down their goals they achieve over a 90% success rate of goal attainment. OVER 90%! Set goals, write them down, rehearse them and expect to attain them. We are what we think, say and act like we are. In the book Success Principles, author Jack Canfield writes about the “law of attraction”, which simply states that we get what we expect to get, what we think we are and that what we believe will happen, does happen. In psychology it is called a self – fulfilling prophecy. Be positive in thoughts, actions and attitudes and we will achieve what we expect in our lives.

Symptom vs. Problem - We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Albert Einstein
We can address the symptom or fix the problem. If the knee is hurting it is probably the hip or the ankle. If the significant other in our life is upset about us going to a seminar, game, workout, etc. it is probably because they want to spend more quality time with us or have a need for us to share out time with them in some form. Another application of this principle is what Marty Schottenheimer calls the game within the game. Rather than just win the game, he would break the game down to its finest points and if these objectives where achieved, the game would be won. For instance, the Chiefs and Seahawks football game was always won by the team that won the turnover battle. So, every athlete that touched the ball was required to hand it to the official at the end of each play in that particular contest or they would be fined in film sessions on Monday. Creative thinking, being innovative in applications and seeking inspiration to provide for needs, wants and desires will energize a synergy that can not be imagined.

Center, Focus, Agenda - But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication.
Abraham Maslow
What is the real reason for decisions? What is the real motivation behind the behavior? What you are doing speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying. If we are client centered, then each and every decision we make as a business is made in order to serve our clients better. If we are a team that is centered on winning, then every decision we make is made in order to take another step toward the championship. If money is our goal, then it becomes the main focus of all our actions. If behavior is different than the words and policies, then it is obvious that what is said does not match what is done. Then, a decision must be made to either influence the motivation/focus/behavior of those around you or change your location/job/attitude. If we are centered in our balance of life, focused in our actions and applications and stay with our agenda, then success will come our way over time.

Discipline - “In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves... self-discipline with all of them came first.”
Harry S Truman
Be disciplined. Do the little things right. If you do, then you will do the big things right. Be on time, be prepared, and finish what is started. Many people have passion for what is fresh and new in relationships, business and school but fewer people have what Mark Verstegen of Athletes’ Performance calls “sustainability”, the ability to grind things through to a successful conclusion. This is what separates many successful individuals and businesses from all the rest. Focus becomes diffused, passion wanes, energy dissipates and suddenly the project, business or relationship becomes stale and begins to fall apart. It is said Edison found over 10,000 ways to not invent a working light bulb before he found success. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson, authors of the Chicken Soup series prepared by interviewing everyone they could on the methods to employ in order to have a best seller. Then, for the next 5 years they spent a minimum of thirty minutes each and every day utilizing those methods in order to have the highest selling book in literary history. Be a grinder. It works. Also, most problems or “lapses in judgment” (to use the popular phrase of today’s celebrities, athletes and politicians) are due to nothing more than a simple lack of discipline.

Passion - Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principles which direct them.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Find your passion and stay centered in it. Discover who and what you are and as Nike says “Just do it”. It doesn’t matter where you start – all that matters is how you finish. Whether you had money or were poor, great schools or lack formal education, good looking or ugly, tall or short, had parents or were an orphan is no reflection on the person you are today. Don’t get me wrong, we are all a sum of our experiences, but the decisions we make as to who and what we are from this day forward will determine our success in life. I am a teacher and a coach and I must do both in my profession in order to be satisfied. I am not a millionaire or anywhere close to it. Will I be someday? Maybe. Is that a goal? Not particularly. I want to help others. I want to assist coaches and trainers to help their athletes and clients achieve their goals. If I can do that on a regular basis, then I have achieved my primary professional goal.

Balance - Most people struggle with life balance simply because they haven't paid the price to decide what is really important to them.
Stephen Covey
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Find balance. Have a life. Enjoy what you have because none of us are promised tomorrow. Take time out for family. Make time for your significant other and children. Engage yourself in a hobby. Give of your self, talents, and money with no expectation of return on the investment. Do nothing. Work your butt off. Ask for help. Practice random acts of kindness. Save some money. Take a vacation. Spend your time wisely as time is our currency and once it is squandered, invested and spent – it is gone, never to return. How do you want to be remembered by those that are important to you? How will you?

God - We have one life; it soon will be past; what we do for God is all that will last.
Muhammad Ali
Find your God. Talk to Him. Listen. All prayers are answered. Sometimes the answer is no. Practice your faith (not your religion, as faith is of God and religion is of man). Find your church. Attend. In my faith it is “His will be done . . . “not mine. We are not in control and never will be. We have some influence at times. But as soon as we realize we ultimately have no power, the less anxious we are and the better we all sleep.

Life is fun and we only have one. Enjoy it and enjoy the people and experiences it has to offer. It has taken me almost 50 years to learn this bakers dozen lessons and I’m sure I’ve got lots more to learn. I hope you are a quicker study than I and you are blessed every day.